10 most brutal jokes from Netflix’s The Roast of Tom Brady
NetflixNetflix’s The Roast of Tom Brady didn’t hold back with jokes surrounding the GOAT’s career and marriage — these are the most brutal jabs from the special.
Brady decided to trade out leading a football team to sit in the hot seat, as he was the subject of Netflix‘s roast special this past weekend.
The roasters included Kevin Hart, several of Brady’s former NFL teammates, and a host of wildly funny comedians.
Like any roast, most of the jokes poked fun at his insecurities and the most personal parts of his life, but some jokes truly left audiences speechless. So let’s break down the 10 harshest jokes from the Brady roast.
10. Deflategate
“I’ll tell you what you deflated: my legacy. I want my ring… Drew Bledsoe was in the freakin’ hospital, and he has a Super Bowl ring. Nate Ebner – who the f**k is Nate Ebner? – he has three Super Bowl rings.” — Randy Moss
Moss, who played with Brady from 2005 to 2007 is referencing one of the biggest scandals of the quarterback’s career: Deflategate.
Brady and the New England Patriots were fined for allegedly using deflated footballs during the 2014 AFC title game against the Indianapolis Colts. A report from the NFL claimed Brady was “at least generally aware” of the footballs being tampered with and was suspended for the first four games of the 2016 season.
The Patriots had to pay a fine of $1 million and lost out on two potential draft picks ahead of the same season.
9. Divorce from Giselle Bündchen
“Tom Brady. Five-time Super Bowl MVP, most career wins, most career touchdowns. You have seven rings — well, eight, now that Gisele gave hers back. The only thing dumber than saying yes to this roast was when you said, ‘Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu.’” — Nikki Glaser
Brady and Bündchen were married for 13 years and had three children before filing for divorce in October 2022. The pair were quiet about the reason why they decided to separate until Bündchen sat down with Vanity Fair in March 2023.
In the interview, the supermodel cited Brady’s busy football schedule and the fact he wasn’t really home as “one piece of a much bigger puzzle” and that “sometimes you grow together; sometimes you grow apart.”
The jiu-jitsu part of the joke comes from Bündchen’s relationship with instructor Joaquim Valente, which began in June 2023 but only came to light in 2024.
8. Friendship with Alex Guerrero
“People said that Tom and I butted heads a lot. In a way that was true, but not really. It was hard to butt heads with Tom because his was so far up Alex Guerrero’s a**.” — Bill Belichick
Though Brady and Belichick are seen as the most successful coach and quarterback duo in the NFL, they famously were at odds over one particular person: Alex Guerrero.
Guerrero was described as Brady’s “spiritual guide, counselor, pal, nutrition advisor, trainer, massage therapist and family member.” The pair were so close that they created the “the TB12 Method,” an intense training regimen that works to “help you live pain-free and perform your best.”
Belichick was not a big fan of Guerrero and the tension between the pair led to the Patriots coach stripping Guerrero of his team privileges, including flying on the Patriots jet and not working with anyone but Brady at his Gillette Stadium office.
According to ESPN, the coach hoped this distance would “permanently clarify Guerrero’s role” and “draw sharp boundaries” as his players started feeling like they had to work with him to gain Brady’s favor.
7. Kim Kardashian burn
“I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight. Not because of this but because her kids are at home with their dad.” — Tom Brady
Kardashian and Kanye West were married for six years and had four children before they divorced in November 2022 after a two year battle.
Though the pair started divorce proceedings in 2020, cracks began to show in 2016 when it was reported the pair were no longer living together.
Kardashian and West went through a lot of public fighting along including West accusing Kardashian of cheating and the rapper showcasing worrisome behavior a month after they divorced, but the former couple seem to be doing well as co-parents.
6. Buffalo Bills loss
“Buffalo Bills fans call themselves the Bills mafia. How are you the f**king mafia? At least the mafia has a ring you can kiss.” — Tom Brady
Unlike Brady who has seven rings under his belt, the Bills have never won a Super Bowl. They have played in four championship games so far, but have never taken home the trophy or the ring.
5. Crypto partnership
“Tom also lost $30 million in Crypto. Tom, how did you fall for that? I mean, even Gronk was like, ‘Me know that not real money.'” –– Nikki Glaser
Brady lost the large sum of money after partnering with the cryptocurrency company FTX, which had to declare bankruptcy in 2022.
The quarterback was given $30 million in stocks as payment for promoting the company in TV ads and at the company’s conference, but those stocks became worthless after FTX went under, per The New York Times.
4. Plastic surgery
“When we played together, Tom, you used to scream, ‘Laser focus! Laser focus!’ Now that’s what he screams at his plastic surgeon. Who’s laughing now Tom? Not you, because your face can’t move and you don’t have a sense of humor.” — Julian Edelman
The quarterback has been accused of getting a ton of plastic surgery over the years, with NFL fans nicknaming him “Botox Brady” after he appeared in a league promotional video.
3. Two-time Super Bowl loss
“You’ll always be remembered as Eli Manning’s b*tch.” — Will Ferrell
Brady is known as a Super Bowl winning machine, but his most notable loss was to the New York Giants led by quarterback Eli Manning.
In what is considered one of the biggest upsets in NFL history, the Patriots lost to the Giants in 2007 with a score of 17-14. It was seen as a huge loss for Brady as the team went undefeated throughout their 2007 season, only to lose during the biggest game possible.
2. Aaron Hernandez
“The bar for Patriots tight ends was pretty low back then. Block, catch, don’t murder.” — Tom Brady
Brady played with Hernandez for three seasons before the former tight end was sentenced to life prison for the murder of Odin L. Lloyd after an altercation at a nightclub. Hernandez was also charged with a double homicide in Boston, but was later acquitted on the charges.
Five days after his acquittal, Hernandez was found dead in his prison cell in Lancaster, Massachusetts.
1. Massage
“So Tom became a Patriot and moved up to New England, and on the first day of training camp, that scrawny rookie famously walked into the owner Robert Kraft‘s office and said, ‘I’m the best decision your organization has ever made. Would you like a massage?’” — Jeff Ross
In 2019, Patriots owner Robert Craft was charged with two misdemeanor counts of soliciting prostitution at a Florida spa. Surveillance camera footage proved Craft received sexual services from the spa workers, though he was not charged with human trafficking, which was the main probe of the spa sting operation.
Craft ended up pleading not guilty to the charges and issued a public apology, stating, “The last thing I would ever want to do is disrespect another human being. I have extraordinary respect for women; my morals and my soul were shaped by the most wonderful woman, the love of my life, who I was blessed to have as my partner for 50 years.”
As Brady and Kraft have been extremely close over the years, it was surprising that he wouldn’t take the jab at his former team owner lightly, telling Ross on camera, “Don’t say that sh*t again.”
The Roast of Tom Brady is now streaming on Netflix. If you’re looking for something to watch afterwards, check out all the movies streaming this month as well as the TV shows to add to your watchlist.
