The former Overwatch pro confirmed he had been in hospital over the past few days, after he was banned from Twitch for alleged ‘self-harm’ following a burst of rage during his October 1 stream that ended with him ripping his keyboard in half.
“I’ve been in hospital the past few days with no internet or anything,” Dellor revealed to his fans on Twitter, and confirmed he had now been discharged. “I’m out now, and I’m going to be ok. I’m sorry I couldn’t let you guys know sooner.”
i've been in the hospital the past few days with no internet or anything. i'm out now and i'm going to be ok. i'm sorry i couldn't let you guys know sooner.— dellor (@dellorlol) October 3, 2019
Dellor checked himself into the hospital and spent two days in the psych ward, he revealed in a recently released TwitLonger. He confirmed he had received "treatment, therapy, was diagnosed, and received medication" during his stay.
"I am sorry I scared you all... I regret what I did," he said in the update to his fans on October 3. "I love life and want to continue living and entertaining you guys. If you guys are suffering from mental health, PLEASE go get help. The two days I spent getting treatment has helped me tremendously. Don't be scared to get help."
His self-admittance came after he released a now-deleted tweet suggesting he didn’t “want to continue living in this world anymore” following several months of what he described as “mental torture,” which sparked concern across the community.
The streamer made contact with his fans on his Discord channel after he was discharged from hospital, telling them he was about to take his “first shower in three days,” and revealing he had been “chain-smoking since (he) got out.”
While Dellor did reveal that he had been “depressed for months” before the October 1 ban, it appeared the streamer — who had built a community of more than 500,000 followers on Twitch according to TwitchTracker — took the punishment, which came on the same day the star was expecting the return of his partner subscriptions, particularly hard.
He stressed that he had never self-harmed on-stream, and the breaking of his keyboards was simply damaging gaming equipment, something he had done "hundreds of times on stream." He also added that he made sure he would buy easy to break keyboards, knowing that he would regularly damage and break them, and said he would do it "to entertain (his) fans."
The streaming star also confirmed the rumors that his ban on Twitch was permanent, and that even if he was interested in returning to the Amazon-owned site — an unlikely choice considering he dubbed it "absolutely horrendous" — he would no longer be able to.
"I've heard back from Twitch and I am permanently banned. My spirit is crushed right now. I streamed for a decade on this platform. I've been here from the beginning. I was banned and demonetized and still stayed loyal. I streamed for six months and the day I was going to get my sub button back, Twitch banned me permanently for "self harm," he said.
Soon after his message, a new Mixer channel branded with his profile picture and titled ‘Dellor’ appeared on Twitch’s rival’s site. There has been no official confirmation from Vaughn that this profile is owned by him or will be his new permanent home of streaming, however.
Dellor has already had a number of informal offers in regards to site changes as well, including from YouTube’s head of gaming Ryan 'Fwiz' Wyatt, and Tyler 'Ninja' Blevins, who suggested he follow in the Mixer star’s footsteps in swapping to the Microsoft-owned site.
While Dellor has built much of his community on Twitch, he also boasts 384,000 subscribers on YouTube, meaning he could channel more of his content creation efforts into that platform.
Dellor ended his recent message by revealing he would be appealing Twitch's decision, and thanked his fans and the community for their support over the last few days: "With my entire soul I believe this ban was not fair. I am going to try to appeal the ban but I will let you all know what happens. I love you all and thank you all so much for the support."
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, or know anyone that is, and you would like to talk to someone, please reach out and call the Suicide Prevention Helpline 1-800-273-8255 (USA), the Samaritans 116-123 (UK), or Lifeline’s Suicide Hotline 13-11-14 (AUS).
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