The state of League of Legends’ top lane has left players wondering how to properly play the position, making the “sarcastic but accurate rules” from one player something everyone can learn from.
At its core, the summation of LoL Reddit user Xenton's rules is a crash course for tips on how to survive in that assignment during a match. But the tone of the post makes it readily apparent that no matter what someone does in that role, the game will probably end badly for them.
“Seriously, so many situations feels like the answer is always ‘maybe,’” user ‘ModularSpaceGirl’ said of the sarcastic tips. “Playing top lane feels like playing a rigged coin toss game. Your answer is 50/50 but somehow you're always wrong.”
Timing your back
Reading through a few of Xenton’s philosophies on things like how to ward, being cautious of the enemy’s jungler, and the like starts to give aspiring top laners a bleak impression on what to expect.
“Consider what your power spike items are, how the lane minions are pushing, whether or not you have the health to trade your opponent down a little before you leave,” Xenton said about optimal recall timings. “Whatever you pick, rest assured that you made a mistake and you will be punished severely for it.”
Those are great rules to live by, however, even a correct back timing can still leave a player open to a counter play like dropping a Rift Herald in a free lane, as Xenton alluded to.
The same sort of advisory was echoed for warding in that you’ll never really know where the enemy jungler is unless you get proper vision down.
“There's three simple rules for vision,” they explained. “If you don't ward the bush, yes, the enemy jungler is in it. If you ward the bush, nobody will ever go near it. [And finally,] yes, the enemy warded that bush.”
When you’re playing top, if you go outside of your lane for a moment, then it’s likely your opponent knows where you could have warded to – essentially negating that trinket due to informed pathing.
Keeping track of Top lane opponent
These tips revolve around the enemy top laner’s Teleport and whether or not you have an advantage in summoner spells, as well as how to capitalize on it.“If you don't have vision of your opponent, he is teleporting bot lane, why didn't you stop him idiot?” Xenton quipped.
But if they did teleport and you, as a top laner, didn’t respond quickly enough, the least you should do is push the wave as fast as you can to make them miss out on some resources.
Speaking how a disappointed teammate would presumably talk to their top laner, Xenton pointed out every situation as if it was a lose-lose scenario – since a lapse in judgment from the top laner can yield major benefits for the other team.
With every satirical suggestion, there was a tinge of optimism since the player is convinced the top lane is “not fun and it's super easy.”
Though players could find these “rules” helpful, the thread is a massive point of feedback for Riot Games to start making League of Legends’ top lane a more enjoyable position to play.