A popular make-up and beauty YouTuber has revealed the devastating effect hateful comments and social media trolling has on people’s mental health, with a heartbreaking video detailing her own personal struggles.
Imogenation, who is closing in on 400,000 subscribers at the time of writing, starts the video clearly struggling to even speak to the camera, let alone share the sad footage that ensues.
What follows is a week’s worth of footage and behind-the-scenes moments that show a usually high-spirited, happy woman unable to create her videos properly, having emotional breakdowns, and clearly in a poor mental state.
The video – which lasts 31 minutes – sees Imogenation (real name Imogen Horton) frequently attempting to create her usual videos, but barely able to get past the start before losing traction.
In the very first clip, after frequently trying to get things right, Imogen is forced to stop, saying: “I’m so angry that I’m allowing this to get to me. Honestly, looking in that viewfinder, I could literally pick out 100 things that’s wrong with me.”
She goes on to say that she “doesn’t know how to get back to being herself,” adding that she has “lost her spark, and I feel like that was the best thing about me.”
Following that, you see a different setting, clearly from the filming of a different video, where Imogen has a full-blown panic attack, followed by confessions over how anxiety stops her sleeping and causes stomach pains that look near-debilitating.
She goes on to speak about how she took a break from social media but, immediately upon returning, found hate messages and comments that she makes an effort to delete and report, but says that just having hateful comments there at all makes her worried that other people will see it and judge her.
In the final minutes of the video, it becomes clear where Imogen’s mindset is at. “I just want to go back to being me,” she says. “I haven’t been out of the house for a week. I hate myself for allowing them to win. I just want to be me again.”
Imogen committed to donating all money made from the video to MIND mental health charity, and provided multiple links and helplines to assist others in similar situations.
If you or a loved one is struggling with mental health issues, and would like to talk to someone, please reach out to your local hotline.
Suicide Prevention Lifeline USA: 1-800-273-8255
Samaritans UK: 116-123
Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14