Mizkif reveals why battle with depression almost ended streaming career

Published: 6/Jan/2020 23:41

by Andrew Amos


Matthew ‘Mizkif’ Rinaudo has opened up about his mental health, with the streamer revealing depression almost cut his streaming career short.

Mizkif is one of Twitch’s biggest personalities, shooting up in popularity over the last 12 months. However, as he was starting to hit big numbers, he almost cut short his career in the platform after a long battle with depression.

Instead of shying away from the conversation, Mizkif opened up to his viewers, and why everyone who needs help should get it as soon as they can.

Twitch: MizkifMizkif painted out his struggles with mental health for his viewers, urging people to seek help if they need to.

The streamer had a heart-to-heart with his chat on January 6 about his visit to a psychiatric ward, the lowest point of his life, and how he dug himself out of a hole with a solid support group.

He described himself as being “in a really bad state” throughout the middle of 2019, and that he had to put on an act just to stream every day.

“When I went to the ward, I made it seem a lot easier — it was hard getting out of the ward,” he said. “For July, August, and September, I put on such an act on stream that I was happy when I was miserable.”

“I’d get off stream and I wouldn’t talk,” he continued. “One time I picked Maya up from the airport after not seeing her for a month, and I didn’t say a single word for 45 minutes because I didn’t have the energy and I didn’t want to talk. It was such a weird experience with me and Maya, and I felt terrible.”

For Mizkif, he thought those three months would spell the end of his stream. He didn’t have the energy or the desire to stream, and he shelved any concerns others had about his own health.

“I actually thought it was the end of my streaming career,” he said. “I thought it was the end because I didn’t think I had it in me anymore, or the energy to keep going. I went ‘I feel like this is where I take a break and quit streaming.’

“I have never been that low in my life, and I think a lot of people noticed that I was going live for the sake of going live and not because I wanted to.”

He was open about how hard it was to open up to others when he brushed off his own issues. While he thought it didn’t matter, things only got worse. 

“After playing marbles [on stream], listening to the same 10 songs every day, with no friends, I saw a decline in my mental health but I said to myself ‘just keep going because it doesn’t f**king matter,’ but that was so dumb.

“I let it keep falling, and that’s what f**ked me up. It just kept getting worse as time went on, and I just didn’t do anything. So many people, especially Synack, told me to go to a psychologist, go to a therapist, go do something, and I didn’t listen to them.”

After crashing to his “lowest point” in July, he’s on the way up. He’s found a solid support structure thanks to his good friends, his girlfriend Maya, and his therapist.

“The therapist and taking pills made [my mental health] go up a lot more,” he said. “That’s where you want to be in life, you want to be going up.

“I would say I’m happy, and I haven’t been this happy in a while.”

With the pieces in place, the American Just Chatting star is ready to take on Twitch in 2020. He capped off 2019 by reaching 300,000 followers with “the best streams [he’s had],” and it’s only going to go up.


If you are dealing with depression, there is help available for you. You can contact one of the free support lines below to get advice and counselling in times of need.

  • USA: 1-800-273-8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline)
  • UK: 116 123 (Samaritans)
  • Australia: 13 11 14 (Lifeline)

Conor McGregor explains why YouTube boxing is “good business” for the sport

Published: 16/Jan/2021 1:20

by Alex Tsiaoussidis


Jake Paul and Logan Paul helped popularize ‘YouTube Boxing’ in recent years, although it’s often described as a mockery of the sport. However, Conor McGregor explained why he isn’t against it and thinks it’s good business.

Conor McGregor has been focused on his upcoming UFC 257 bout against Dustin Poirier for a while now. However, that hasn’t stopped Jake Paul from doing his best to rope the former double champion into an exhibition boxing match.

Jake first called him out back in November 2020 after he knocked out Nate Robinson. Then, he taunted him to accept a $50 million fight offer several weeks later and has been flailing about ever since. 

He still hasn’t managed to get his attention. However, his antics did draw out comments from UFC President Dana White and Conor’s coach, John Kavanagh. Now, Conor has finally shared his thoughts on YouTube boxing as a whole, and here’s what he had to say.

Jake Paul Conor McGregor
Jake Paul / Conor McGregor
Jake Paul has tried and failed to bait a response from Conor McGregor.

“A lot of people are criticizing [YouTube boxing] as maybe making a bit of a mockery of fighting,” asked an interviewer. It’s the predominant view among fans of combat sports. “I want you to weigh in on that for me.” 

“If they are fighting, well, then it can’t make a mockery of fighting, right?” said Conor. “They’re getting in, and they’re competing. I am not so much against it. The YouTube kid and the NBA star competing [was] good business.

“Am I into those competitions myself? It’s not the most high level if any level… [but] as they say if it makes dollars, it makes sense,” he added. “I know Dana and the UFC are not really into it, but… I’m not so against it. I think if people are willing to get in and take the risk of making that walk, I am certainly a viewer.”


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Conor’s opinion might come as a surprise to fans who expected him to make scathing comments. However, as a businessman himself, it seems like he’s all for it. Plus, as he said, YouTube boxers are still fighting and giving it their all.

On another note, Conor didn’t seem too incensed about Jake. He barely mentioned him at all. 

Still, it’s only a matter of time before Jake responds, and there’s no doubt he won’t be too thrilled about being referred to as “the YouTube kid.”