YouTuber and makeup mogul Jaclyn Hill suffered massive backlash over her first-ever product launch, which included alleged fuzz and bumps on her lipsticks — but the drama didn’t come without a massive mental toll.
Hill released her very own lipstick line in 2019, which quickly sparked outrage across the net after dissatisfied customers claimed that the products weren’t up to standard.
Instead, the lipsticks were alleged to be covered in fuzz and bumps and even filled with holes, with some even claiming the “fuzz” to be human hair.
— ???????? (@itsv_82) June 5, 2019
— Kaitlynnnnnnnnnnn (@KBuzinkai) June 7, 2019
The YouTube beauty guru was subsequently “canceled” by the online community, leading to a period of major depression and anxiety that Hill opened up about in a video on February 3.
According to Hill, the outrage surrounding her lipstick launch caused her such great mental duress that she found herself vomiting several times a week — a physical response that prompted her to turn to alcohol to quell her inner chaos.
“At the end of the day, to cope with my anxiety and my depression, I turned to alcohol and started drinking to fix what I was feeling mentally,” she explained. “…my anxiety gets so bad, you guys, that I uncontrollably throw up. Last year, I would say, there was a couple months’ period where I was throwing up probably five days a week.”
The YouTuber went on to explain that her overuse of spirits to “self-medicate” her anxiety eventually swelled up her face and caused weight gain — a major development when one compares her current look to older photos.
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“I’m fine with gaining weight,” she continued. “I’m fine with gaining weight in my body, I’m fine with it. I don’t care. But what the weight represents is what makes me so upset. So when people tell me, ‘You’re fat, you need to stop getting fillers,’ it triggers me, in a way.”
Thankfully, Hill also revealed that she is currently in therapy to address her anxiety, which comes after a tumultuous 2019 that hit many makeup stars — like James Charles — where it hurt.