During a recent episode his show, The Flank, former CoD pro Tommy ‘ZooMaa’ Paparatto had one name in mind for who Seattle Surge should sign to fill their 2021 CDL vacancy: the one and only Doug ‘Censor’ Martin.
The Surge have a 4-15 record in the CDL regular season and sit dead-last in the standings. They also just parted ways with Jacob ‘Decemate’ Cato just a couple of weeks after signing him, leaving one wide-open roster spot for an SMG ahead of Stage 4.
With Reece ‘Vivid’ Drost picked up by the Dallas Empire, Seattle’s options are running thinner, but ZooMaa has a solution: Censor.
Echoing CoD Twitter’s “No Doug, No Dub” spam, ZooMaa — a former teammate of Censor’s with the New York Subliners in 2020 — believes there’s real potential for the pickup. Fending off co-host Ben Nissim’s doubts, the Italian Stallion explained why Seattle should actually consider signing the former FaZe YouTuber to their starting lineup.
(For mobile users, segment begins at 22:00.)
When the topic of Seattle comes up, Nissim seemed to immediately know the ZooMaa hot take is coming, but it was too late and Tommy let his feelings be known: “The year is already f**king chalked for Seattle … If I was Seattle, I’d pick up Doug.”
While Nissim pushed back against the bold idea, ZooMaa simply doubled down on the selfless value Censor can bring.
“He’s going to come in, Ben, and he’s going to do everything,” the ‘Stallion’ remarked. “He’s going to throw trophies, he’s gonna say ‘I’ve got the hill, don’t worry. Go push out. I got this.’ He’s gonna hit every rotation, he’s going to be stacking every hill.”
Over the past few years, Censor has remained a confident, optimistic personality in the CoD scene despite minimal professional success. He’s failed to impress in CDL Challengers either, which factors into Nissim’s doubts and probably plays a part in ZooMaa admitting that he was “somewhat trolling.”
But still, even if Doug isn’t the solution from a competitive standpoint, ZooMaa and Nissim agree that no available player is likely to solve Seattle’s woes. If that’s the case, and Tommy’s sources indicate it is, then he believes Surge should make the move “for the culture.”
As ZooMaa elaborates, “I have sources that are telling me that it’s pretty much chalked up in that Seattle camp … if I’m hearing that it’s pretty much chalked up and everybody’s losing f**king full over there and nobody gives a f**k, that’s why I was like ‘f**k it, bring in Doug!’”
Seattle starts their Stage 4 against the Los Angeles Thieves on May 29. If ZooMaa and the internet have their way, the Surge will have a muscular new fourth starter by then — for the culture.